


Mirror of Desire {Remus Lupin}

by PenName_Crystal_Vibe



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Marauders era, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-20 20:43:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17629337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PenName_Crystal_Vibe/pseuds/PenName_Crystal_Vibe
Summary: I looked in the mirror and sawMe and my little sisterThe way it used to be.I looked in the mirror and sawMy mother and fatherTogether.I looked in the mirror and sawJust meStanding there and all aloneBut happy.





	1. Prologue

_Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi._

As Tara made her way through the bustle of Hogwarts station, she just wished the year would be over. She was going back to finish her final year of Hogwarts as the previous year had been interrupted by war.   
As she finally found her way onto the train,she made her way to an empty compartment. She went in and put her trunk up and sat down in the middle of one of the seats.   
"Hello, may I join you?" a voice said from the door. Tara turned to face the boy at the door,he had thick brown and green eyes. Tara nodded, "Of course, it's not going to be taken by anyone." she said, a hint of hurt in her voice.

The boy walked in and put his trunk up, "I'm-" he was interrupted by Tara.

"You're Remus Lupin. Best friend to James Potter, Sirus Black and Lily Evans." she stated, not daring to stare out the window, she left out the part about him being a werewolf.

Remus sat across from her, "So, you know who I am. But who are you?" he asked, looking at the girl in the eye.

She avoided his eye, "Tara Greyback." she muttered, it almost inaduible.

Remus cursed his over sesitive hearing as he heard her name, "Sorry, can you repeat that?" he asked, pretending not to hear her name.

Tara swallowed, "Tara Greyback." she said louder, looking at the floor.

Remus smiled at her, "Nice to meet you Tara." he said, extending his hand to her.

She refriened not shaking his hand, "Aren't you mad with my family?" she asked, looking at him confused.

Remus shook his head, "I don't judge people by who they relate to. Just because you're related to Fenrir it doesn't mean that you are the same." he said, with a nod to his hand.

Tara smiled and shook his hand, "So, where's Sirius? I know he didn't die in the war." she stated, looking for the throublesome boy.

"Oh, you didn't hear? Sirius was sent to Azkban,  he mudered our other friend Peter Pettigrew and led You Know Who to James and Lily Potter." Remus said looking out the window, "We're no longer friends anyway." he added.

Tara watched the boy, he looked sad to lose all of his friends, "Hey, we can be friends." she smiled as he turned to face her, "I can't look out windows, in mirrors or anything that shows my reflection." she said, the frown dissapearing from her face.

Remus already didn't like seeing Tara frown, it took away from her lovely features. "Do you mind me asking why?" he asked, not sure if she would tell him.

Tara sighed, "Because everytime I look into something and see my reflection. I see her." she answered, her eyes fraying to the window for a split seconcd before deciding against it.

Remus saw the pain in her eyes, he decided to ask her one more question, "Who do you see?" he asked.

Tara looked at him, tears sparkled in the corners of her eyes. "I see my sister." she answered, the pain fully taking her as silent tears trickled down her cheeks.


	2. Chapter One

Remus looked at the girl crying before him, he got up and sat next to her. He pulled her into his embrace as she cried. Another girl with black curls knocked on the door.

"Am I interrupting something" she asked, eyeing Remus with a girl crying into his chest.

Remus let out a chuckle, "Not at all Mary. Come in" he said as the girl lifted her head.

Tara looked at Mary and smiled, "Hey Mar" she said, her voice scratchy from crying, "haven't seen you in a while."

 

Mary looked at the blonde-haired girl and a smile cracked on her face," Tara! Hey, where's Amethyst?" she asked, noticing the girl wasn't in the compartment.

Tara let out a sob and put her hands over her face ,trying to hide her tears that were flowing again. Remus looked at Mary, "So that's her sister's name." he muttered, "Amethyst is dead Mary." he informed her as she sat across from the two.

"Oh." Mary said and glanced at Tara, "Listen Tara, your sister was an amazing witch and one of my best friends. She will not be forgotten, about you're going to have to get used to people talking about her."

"They're not only going to talk about her. They're going to ignore me too, because of my brother. Everyone thinks I'm a..."she trailed off glancing at Remus who look uncomfortable and pale.

Mary was confused, "What do they think you are Tara?" she asked, not noticing Remus' appearance.

Remus shook his head, "Don't be so dense Mary. They're going to think she's a werewolf." he said and Tara nodded, not wanting to mention it around Remus knowing what her brother did to him.

There was a knock at the compartment door, "Um, hi." a girl with black frizzy hair said, looking the rest of the people in the compartment.

Before anyone could say anything the girl came out with, "No I am most definitely not Bellatrix LeStrange." And everyone let out a sigh of relief. 

"Who are you then?" Mary asked, eyeing the girl who looked almost identical to Bellatrix.

The girl smiled, "That doesn't matter, have any of you seen Sirius Black?" she asked looking in the compartment.

"Oh, you didn't hear about him killing our dear friend Peter Pettigrew" Remus asked and the girl shook her head, "Well, Sirius was went to Azkaban for life."

The girl looked devastated, "Well that's, that's just great." she said, her voice cracking, "if any of you see him at his trial, please tell him that Joy will wait for him no matter how long it takes." she turned on her heel and walked away.

"What was that all about?" Tara asked, turning to face Remus.

Remus sighed and shook his head, "That was Joy Delacour, she is Sirius' girlfriend." he said.

The girls burst out in fits of laughter. "Sirius, he actually had a girlfriend?" Mary asked, "How did that clown get a girlfriend?"

Remus rolled his eyes, "The same way James did, he asked her," he said, his voice monotonous.

"Wait! James actually asked Lily out?" Mary asked, Tara and Remus nodded.

"Several times." Tara said, "She was always complaining about how mean and annoying he was. She even went so far as to call him an arrogant toerag."

Mary nodded, "Oh and she had a fight with Sev too." she said.

"That may have been, partly my fault." he admitted, getting angry glares off the girls.

"What did you do Lupin?" Mary asked, her face darkening.

Remus gulped, "I may have watched James and Sirius pick on Severus and not done anything about it." he said.

Tara shook her head, "I thought you were a Prefect." she said, "aren't Prefect's meant to stop fights?" she raised an eyebrow.

Remus nodded, "Yes, we are. But I didn't because I didn't want to be a Prefect in the first place." he said.

Mary glanced out to window and saw Hogwarts, "Off that topic now, we're almost home. We need to get ready." she said noticing Remus already had his robes on.

Tara nodded, "Remus, can you please wait outside while Mary and I get changed?" she asked.

"But-"

"Out!" both girls screeched and Remus obliged, getting up and walking out closing the door behind him.

The girls were ready just as the train pulled up at the station in Hogsmeade.


	3. Chapter Two

As the trio stepped out onto the station, they were greeted with a sense of security. They made their way towards the carriages, they hopped in the first one they could.

Joy was in the carriage alone with two younger students who were sitting side by side. The trio sat across from the others with bright smiles on their faces. 

Tara glanced at Joy, who like herself had red eyes from crying.

"Hello." The young girl with blonde hair said. The boy next to he gave a wave.

"Hi." Mary said with a sweet smile.

"Hello." Remus said.

Tara and Joy stayed quiet, just giving small waves.

"I'm Pandora, Pandora Isobel." the girl said, "and this is Xenophilius Lovegood."

"Well, I'm Remus Lupin, that's Mary MacDonald, Joy Delacour." Remus said, pointing at the two.

"Oh. Joy, how's Apolline?" Pandora asked, looking at the girl.

Joy cracked a small smile, "Pollie's good, she's almost graduated. Beautiful as ever, every boy hanging off her finger." she said, looking outside the carriage.

Pandora turned to Tara, "And who are you?" she asked.

Tara swallowed her pride and turned to face Pandora, "My name is Tara Greyback. My family are a bunch of asshats and the reason my year at Hogwarts is going to be hell." she answered.

Everyone turned to look at her. "What, it's true." she said, looking out the front of the at the winged horses pulling the carriages.

Remus was sitting next to her, "I see them too." he said.

"Almost everyone will see them." Joy said, glancing at them to.

Pandora nodded, "Yes, as long as you've seen someone die, you'll be able to see the Threstles." she said, "I can see them, I've been able to see them since I came to the school."

"So have I!" Xenophillius said with a sad smile.

"Sadly I have too." Mary said, looking at the floor.

Remus, Joy and Tara looked at each other, "We all did last year." Remus said.

"Wait Mary, who'd you see die?" Tara asked, curious of who she saw die.

Mary sighed, "I watched Marlene's sister Marsha die. Marlene and I were playing with her when we playing Marlene thought it would be a good to trick Marsha into the woods. So we did and we weren't aware that there was centaurs in there, centaurs are very territorial and they got her and dragged her away so we followed, only to watch them kill her." she said, obviously shaken up by the events, "That's why we held our friendship dear."

"I don't remember who I saw get killed, but I remember a flash of green light." Pandora said.

"I had Death Eaters attack my cousins wedding and kill almost everyone there." Xenophilius said.

"How are you all so calm about this?" Tara asked, overreacting about the whole situation.

"Well, it was so long ago that we had a chance to get over it all." Pandora said and the other two nodded.

"Yeah, well at least you didn't lose your own sister to the hands of your brother." Tara muttered, not meeting anyone's eyes.

"Or watch as your best friend murdered your other best friend." Remus said, putting a hand on Tara's shoulder.

"Or watch your mother sacrifice herself for you when you should've been the one to take the curse." Joy said, the only person to meet everyone's eyes, "and to not have told her the complete truth."

There was an awkward silence between them all.

"Well that's the past, we should move on. Start fresh." Pandora said and they all nodded in agreement.

Mary looked uncomfortable. Tara noticed, "Mary what's wrong" she asked, not wanting her friend to feel uncomfortable.

Mary looked at Tara and shook her head, "I don't want to hurt you more then you already are." she answered.

Tara shook her head and put a reassuring hand on Mary's shoulder, "You couldn't hurt me more than the war already has" she said.

"You want to bet? Okay, have you noticed anyone missing from our group? I mean besides Lily and Amethyst?" Mary asked and Tara nodded.

"Of course, I have Mary, Marls is missing. But I assumed that she with Willow Lilac. You know that her and Willow are good friends too." Tara said.

"Willow was killed in the war, her and Marlene were fighting side by side when Narcissa Black and Lucius Malfoy. Of course I was in the next quadrant, fighting your brother. This may have been after he killed Amethyst. Anyway, I heard screams and spells for the next quadrant, having quickly defeated your brother I went to help them. So I walked in on Willow lying on the floor stunned, Lucius and Narcissa versing Marlene by herself. So I stunned Narcissa and went to help her with Lucius when Fenrir came in after me for using the body bind hex on him. He shot the killing curse at me but it hit Marls instead." Mary said, she was shaking.

Tara took a minute to process what she had been told, when it finally sunk in her mood dropped. "My brother" she said, looking at everyone who nodded, "My brother killed our sister and my best friend!" she growled, curling her balls into fists. Her features grew dark, her eyes turning black and teeth sharpening, "I'm going to kill him" she said.

Everyone had moved as far away from her as they could get. She looked like a deranged psychopath. "Tara, you have to calm down." Remus said but Tara continued looking deranged, even though she was slowly calming down.

"I think I broke her." Mary said as they got to the castle.

"You guys go, I'll help her out." Remus said and the others just nodded, leaving. Remus seized Tara's hand, "Tara listen, fight the urge to hurt. It won't help you." he said and Tara persisted, not listening.

Remus stood up, "Come on, we'll go get you some help." he said, watching the girl get up, he led her out of the carriage and up to the gate where Professor Slughorn was waiting to greet students.

He noticed the late arrivals and went to give them detentions when he saw Tara's appearance. "My dear girl, what happened?" he asked, touching her shoulder.

Tara let out a growl but didn't attack the teacher. Professor Slughorn looked at Remus, "Mr Lupin, what happened to Miss Greyback?"he asked.

"Well, one of our." Remus said, not wanting to rat out his friend.

"Well?" the professor asked as Tara latched onto Remus' arm not wanting to go with the potion master.

"I don't know, we were just talking in the carriage and she got really angry and lashed out. Turning into this." He pointed at her.

Professor Slughorn nodded, "Okay, well seeing as Miss Greyback will not detach herself from you, you will come with us. I have something that may be able to help her." he said, leading the way to the castle and down to the dungeons.

 


	4. Chapter Three

When they got to the professor's office, Remus sat Tara down and stood up. Professor Slughorn was rummaging through his cupboard looking for a potion.  
"Professor, I'm going to head up to the feast." Remus called, turning to the door and opening it.  
Professor Slughorn just nodded, waving him out as he continued to look for the potion. Tara grabbed his ar and looked up at him.  
"No Tara. I'm not staying." Remus said and pulled his arm away, walking out the door and back up to the feast.

Tara sat grumbling, a few of her growls escaping her lips as she slowly calmed down. Watching Professor Slughorn look for the potion, she let out and giggle and held her hand up to cover her mouth.  
Professor Slughorn looked up, he had a small flask in his hand with blue liquid in it. He walked over, handing it to her. "Miss Greyback, drink this. It'll sting a little at the back of your throat but you'll feel better afterwards." He said.  
Tara snarled and took a swig, the liquid left a tingling sensation on her tongue and burned the back of her throat like he had said, but had a sweet lolly taste. Tara blinked a couple of times before looking at the Professor. "Professor?" She questioned, seeing she was in his office, "What in the name of Rowena Ravenclaw is going on?"  
"not to worry my dear, just make your way back up o the Great Hall. I'm sure if you hurry, you can catch dessert" professor Slughorn said.  
Tara nodded and stood up leaving the potions master. She made her way to the Great Hall, unfortunately for her, she bumped into Remus who was coming back to get her after he rudely left her with the potions professor.

Tara had so much force behind her from how fast she was going that she knocked Remus to the floor,  but she was not quick enough to stop herself from falling too as she landed on top of him, their faces inches apart.  
To make things worse, a patronising voice came from above them. "Ickle wolfy and angry pup. What a sight to see. But how can wolfy like the pup? This shan't be!" It sang.  
Tara let out a groan and pushed herself up off him. She stood up and him her hand and pulled him up, "Sorry about that Rem." She said, scratching the back of her neck. "I didn't see you there."  
Remus smiled and shook his head, "It's fine Tara." Remus said, "I was coming to get you anyway." a small blush appeared on his cheeks.  
"Ickle wolfy likes angry pup! Ickle wolfy likes angry pup!" Peeves sang as he floated down the hall and disappeared around the corner.  
"Rem ignore him. He looks for a rise out of people." Tara said, she continued walking up the hall, skimming his arm as she passed.  
Remus felt his cheeks heat up and he was sure that they were as red as Lily's hair. He shrugged it off and for followed Tara up the hall.

Sadly, when they got to the hall the feast was over.  Tara let out a groan, "I haven't eaten since yesterday." She muttered,noticing the hall was empty. She turned on her heel, "I guess I'll see you later Rem." She made her way towards the Ravenclaw dorms.


	5. Chapter Four

The next day, Tara walked into the Great Hall and was left facing Peeves and a hall full of people.   
She ignored Peeves, who seemed to follow her singing  _'Ickle wolfy and Angry pup'_  at the top of his lungs. She sat a the Ravenclaw table and took a slice of toast.  
"Hey Greyback, is it true you wolfed out yesterday?" A boy asked from the Gryffindor table, making a growling song. His friends laughed.  
"Leave her alone Amos." Remus said, walking over and sitting down,  
"You'd know all about the inner wolf, wouldn't you Remus?" Amos asked, growling at the boy as his friends sniggered behind him.   
Mary walked over and sat next to Remus, "Picking on Rem again are you ArmAss?" She asked Amos who shot her a look. Remus and Tara laughed, Peeves grew bored of getting no reaction and went away.  
"It's Amos, MacDonald. You know that." Amos said.   
"MacDonald. I thought that was me last name, not yours ArmAss." Mary said, smirking.   
Amos got up and left the hall, his friends following.  
"Thanks guys!" Tara said, smiling.   
"Anytime girl." Mary said.   
"It was nothing." Remus said.

Tara turned back to her table, she had the sudden urge to tell Remus something but she couldn't figure out what it was.  
She dismissed the thought, going back to eating.

 **Later in the day....**  
Tara was on her free with Remus, they were studying for their N.E.W.Ts.  
Tara was still itching to tell Remus something, but the words wouldn't come to mind. Suddenly, a note flew across the room and landed in front of her. It was more like an origami swan, it's wings fluttered and she touched it. The note opened up and it read in bold capital letters;  
 **TARA AND REMUS SNOGGING IN A TREE!**  
Tara let out a growl and Remus looked up at her.  
"What's that?" He asked, glancing at the note.  
"Here," she handed it to him, "read it." She said, looking back down at her book, a bright pink blush taking over her cheeks.

Remus read over the note, his cheeks flushed the same colour as Tara's. He looked around for the culprits.

"Remus, it was probably just Sirius and James playing a prank on us-" Tara said, biting her lip as she realised what she had said.

Remus looked at her, pain flashed through his eyes. "How could you not remember Tara?" he asked.

"I don't know Remus! Maybe it's because we haven't been friends for very long? Maybe it's because I make mistakes? Maybe it's because I wanted you to feel the same way I do." Tara stated, "Because, if that letter means anything more then a simple prank, you're imagining me as someone I'll never be." 

"And who may that be? Please do enlighten me Tara." Remus said.

"My sister." Tara said, slamming her book  closed and getting up. Storming out of the library.


	6. Chapter Five

For the next few days, Tara ignored everyone. She put up with Amos picking on her.   
But as she sat in the girls dorms, she had the urge to do something, something to take the pain away.  
She grabbed a quill and some parchment and started writing.

 _Dear Amy_  
 _Why you, why not me?_  
 _You would’ve coped so much better than me._  
 _I was always the more quiet and socially awkward one._  
 _Remus sees you in me. He loved you Amy and I’m a living reminder of you._  
 _I wish I could see you just one more time, just to say good bye._  
 _Your loving sister, Tara_.

Tears stained the bottom of the page as Tara read back over her letter to her sister.  
“Oh Amethyst. Why can’t you just be here? Life was so much better when you were.” Tara whispered, clutching the letter to her chest.  
Tara looked back down at the letter when she felt it start to move.   
‘Good bye, Tara.' was written in cursive letters.  
“Good bye Amethyst.” Tara whispered, placing the note down and getting up, making her way down to the Common Room.

“Tara, Tara, Tara wake up.” Pandora called Tara, trying to shake her awake.  
Tara grumbled and swatted Pandora away, trying to curl into a ball.  
“Tara, come on or you’re going to miss lunch.” Pandora said, shaking Tara again.  
Tara opened her eyes, “But I don’t want to get up.” she whisper, stretching her arms.  
“Well too bad, you’re going to come with me and eat, don’t think I haven’t noticed that you haven’t been eating.” Pandora said, pulling Tara into a sitting position.   
“Why do you care?” Tara grumbled, standing up.  
Pandora shook her head, “Because, no one deserves to feel the way you do and starving yourself isn’t the answer to your question, finding support is.” she said,grabbing Tara’s hand and dragging her down to the Great Hall.

Pandora sat Tara down and sat next to her.  
Tara smiled at her and grabbed a roll and some pumpkin juice.  
“See, it isn’t hard to come down to eat a meal.” Pandora said, watching Tara fill the roll up with ham and cheese.  
“Hey Tara.”  
Tara dropped the roll on her plate and covered her face. “Go away, I just want to eat.” she said, not picking up her food.  
Pandora glanced behind her and saw Remus and Mary, “Guys, I just got her out of the dorm. She’s not ready for everyone all at once.” she said.  
“Hey, look. Wolf girl’s back.” A voice called.  
Something cracked in Tara’s mind, she got up and walked out of the Hall, almost robotically.  
“See what you have all done?” Pandora asked, getting up and chasing after Tara.


End file.
